Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
