Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
