so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
