He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
