You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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