I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
