My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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