porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
