I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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