I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
