hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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