Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
