Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
