Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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