So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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