RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
