my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
we're so committed to being not committed
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
