WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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