My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
