Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
