oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
