you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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