he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
