dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have feelings that need drinking.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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