when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
that's an acceptable place to lick
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
