I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
