I wish I could punch you in the face.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
