Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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