great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
