FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
