it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
All the doctor said was why
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
