'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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