No awkward lesbian experiences without me
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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