he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
