i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
