her vagine was all disorganized.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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