You just made me feel so damn special
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
