my mouth tastes like poor choices
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
