Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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