I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
