well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
