it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize