I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
