i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
