My hair reeks of homosexuality.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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