maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
