ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
