addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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