I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
