So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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