u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
